TrueJoshNight Truly Dreadful Film

SoftInloveRox Horrible, fascist and poorly acted

mraculeated The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Freeman This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

thestarkfist This movie is confused and misleading. At the very beginning you are treated to a little ditty about "the God of Thunder, Mighty Thor"! The song was actually Thor's theme song in an early attempt to animate the old Marvel comic book characters. They were shown on TV after school back in the '60's! How it wound up attached to this mess is beyond me, but it does illustrate how misleading the movie is. The Thor in this picture is NOT the God of Thunder. He's just some steroid junkie with blonde hair and the name. At no point during this flick is any attempt made to connect him to the old Norse legends. He's just a strong guy. A strong, mostly incompetent guy. Now, seeing as the title of the movie has Thor in it, you might expect that the story would be about him, but you'd be wrong! As has been pointed out in some of the other reviews, Thor actually has little screen time. The film is mostly concerned with the trials and tribulations of Tamar, who has been captured by the Amazons and will soon have to fight for her life in the arena. So, right from the outset, this movie misleads you twice. I doubt this was an accident. What to say about this flick? considering that the Italians invented this film genre you would expect it to be much better than it is. The men are portrayed as buffoons while the women are basically ruthless and brutal. There's really not much of a storyline and so, in order to pad out the film to its 84 minute length, the director treats us to lots of clumsily staged battles- to-the- death between the slave women. There is a lot of killing in this movie. Some of the slave girls choose to disembowel themselves rather than slay one of their comrades. At one point we're shown a shot of a pile of dead slave girls, all of whom were slain in the arena in one afternoon of sport! As you might surmise, this movie is actually kind of dark for a 60's sword and sandal flick, which makes the scenes with Thor and his African companion all the more incongruous. Many of their scenes are played for laughs in a broad slapstick manner. One minute a slave girl is running herself through with a sword, and the next Thor and Ramalamatutu, or whatever his name is, are doing schtick! I was wondering if they were going to break into "Who's On First" sometimes. The movie delivers all of the girl fights you could possibly desire, but if you're looking for the ultra-buff hero to pull down a temple or toss giant statues around like they were made of cardboard, you're going to be very disappointed. The only feat of strength that Thor pulls off in the whole film is beating 101 Amazons in a game of tug-of-war. Somehow this is all that is required to bring the Amazon Empire crashing down. Oh brother!I downloaded this movie off of one of the free public domain movie websites. As I state in the title of this review, there's a reason why nobody has held on to the rights to this flick. By today's standards it has the potential to be seen as extremely offensive. Thor's black chum spends most of his time addressing him as "master". I'm surprised he doesn't play the banjo too. The worst offense, however, is contained in the working premise of the story. you see, The Amazons are bad because they want to subjugate men. Tamar and the good women in the film all realize that women are supposed to be subservient to men. As Tamar herself explains, that's how Nature wants it to be. Given how goofy the men act in this little cowpile of a film it's kind of surprising that she didn't go over to the Amazon queen's way of thinking.

MARIO GAUCI This is another film which I have just watched but it has already slipped my mind quite completely! Indeed, the peplum genre – especially in its lowest form, and this is easily among the least I have watched! – has a curious tendency to be instantly forgettable.The fact that this features no recognizable cast members certainly did not help and, though I purposely scheduled it to be viewed right after the brand-new Marvel/Kenneth Branagh blockbuster THOR (2011), unsurprisingly the film has nothing at all to do with that superhero figure despite featuring a character by that name in the English-dubbed version I watched. Rather, as can be gleaned from the title, it awkwardly blends mild feminist attitudes with the vaguest whiff of Scandinavian mythology (I guess the film-makers could not get the rights to Hercules, Maciste or any of those other muscle-bound characters!); incidentally, it was originally released as, simply, LE GLADIATRICI – that is to say, making no reference whatsoever to the dime-a-dozen he-man hero (here played by the generically-named Joe Robinson)! However I rack my brain to try to recall the plot details, I cannot come up with anything substantial…and the same goes for the rest of the protagonists, be it friends or foes! I can only surmise that the people involved kept the script handy in order to get from Point A to Point B during the shooting stage of this type of unassuming (read: invincibly low-brow) fare – but it does feel odd that, having gone through 86 minutes of it, there is nothing tangible to talk about after only a couple of days! Actually, there is a 10-page dissection of the film available online…but I will be damned if I am going to read it to jog my memory of it all…but, from the accompanying stills, I hazily recall: Thor fighting a caged ape; his having a colored sidekick; the villainous Queen of Babylos {sic} having a fluffy white cat for a pet; and her gladiatress minions not only getting to don Smurf-like head-gear but forever prone to breaking into the hilarious war-cry of "Elt! Elt! Elt!" WTF?!

pro_crustes Only reason I watched this today (on a tape from one of the usual online sources) was that I expected it might be a movie I remembered from my youth. And, by "youth," I mean when I was about 7 or 8. The movie is a pretty standard "strong-man" film, although the man appears in very few scenes. Mostly, it's about a bizarre society of "amazon" women (who, I suspect, have none of them ever been on the same continent as the eponymous river) who enslave other women and force them to participate in gladiatorial combat. The slaves wear delightfully short skirts and lots of facial make-up. I have this creepy feeling that this film may have set my notions of what "sexy" means for the 35 years that have followed my seeing it, as I _still_ think thighs and mascara are pretty neat. But, also, I have always remembered a couple of scenes in particular, especially a climactic tug-of-war between Thor and 100 of the amazons. Perhaps it must be conceded as some indicator of quality that, unseen by me again in all that time, I _still_ remembered this movie. (On the other hand, if I had remembered it better, I'd have saved my money and not bought the tape. Make of those facts what you will.)

jamil-5 Italian muscle movie of the 'sixties with it's brains in its gluteus maximus muscles. Aggressive amazons are enslaving men; to the rescue come the mighty Thor and his black sidekick, Ubaratutu (spelling?). I was convulsed with laughter both times that I saw this flick but many will simply accept it for what it is: a knuckle-headed spinoff of the Hercules series. I haven't seen it listed on TV in more than three decades, either because it's considered too stupid to show (why would that stop them?) or, more likely, because it's just too politically incorrect for our "sensitive" times: Ubaratutu is portrayed as dim-witted and cowardly and always refers to Thor as "master." If you watch this with people who are tuned-in to "camp," it may destroy you, as it did me. I laughed so hard that I cried, but don't say you weren't warned.