SparkMore n my opinion it was a great movie with some interesting elements, even though having some plot holes and the ending probably was just too messy and crammed together, but still fun to watch and not your casual movie that is similar to all other ones.

Humaira Grant It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Married Baby Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

Phillipa Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

Gloria Marie Predictable, usual nihilistic Bret Easton Ellis script, all they do is show bored and cynical people, usually texting o having sex or taking advantage of someone else, "Hollywood style", of course. Broke bartenders/actors ready to do everything for a role, gay people ready to "help" them, pretty girls faking relationships because they don't wanna be broke anymore, the usual, you know. Pouty-lip James Deen is OK as a proper actor I guess, that role didn't require much effort after all. Lindsay is basically playing herself or possibly the tabloid version of herself, I'm afraid. Don't waste your time, unless you're an Easton Ellis die-hard fan.

Rodrigo Amaro I know I shouldn't reference a classic movie while writing about this film but I have to because there's a certain strange connection between both, despite the different outcome each one had. The majority of viewers of "The Canyons" might never have heard of "The Misfits" (1961), that depressive tale starring Gable, Monroe, Clift and directed by John Huston, a reunion of washed up characters that never seem to do anything right in life, and behind the scenes it was another sad story as well, becoming the final films of Marilyn and Clark, and Monty's career already in ruins, didn't get better later on. Rumor has it, the movie was on TV the day he died, someone asked him if he wanted to see it, to which he replied with a 'no'. Yet that was a marvelous picture and still interesting to watch. What's Paul Schrader movie has to do with it? It's also a story about washed up people (in and off the movie) who try to do something with their lives but only manage to complicate things. Unlike "The Misfits", this excuse for a movie is simply dull, hollow and idiotic.The same hands that wrote the great "American Psycho" and "Less than Zero" are the same that brings this movie to life. Can you believe that? Yep, Bret Easton Ellis tries to deliver a piece involving Hollywood and its nasty schemes of money, power, sex, lies, betrayal and love going out the window. In it, famous producer film Christian (porn star James Deen, trying his big break in conventional films) goes bazoork after finding out that his wife (Lindsay Lohan) is having an affair with Ryan (Nolan Gerard Funk), the leading man he selected to star in his new project. Conflict, or catch some might say: Christian doesn't mind sharing his lovely wife with other partners in orgies and wild parties as long as he's there as well, so it's kind of weird when he reacts in a psychotic way after discovering the affair. "I love you because I trust you" he says at the beginning, maybe it's the other way around, I don't know. That side of the story is pure garbage, and the more the film tries to bring sensuality or just throw some sex scene, the more embarrassing it gets. It looks like a lousy carbon copy of a softcore (and trust me, there's softcore flicks with better plot and sexy moments than this thing), the sex is just presented very briefly, with no deep connection with the story, and even the sequences involving nudity are tame, prudishly captured. Whether being a weird drama or a unsexy thriller, "The Canyons" doesn't hit right at anything. There's not even a bold or original take into Hollywood way of running things, no critique, no judgment, just the exploitation of us unfortunate viewers.I only (slightly) cared about "The Canyons" in the sequences involving Ryan, the young and struggling actor caught in the middle of complicated situations, torn about acting in a good project - but what's it about, anyway? the movie never tells us - and staying with the love of his life, the decadent actress married with Christian, and Ryan also happens to be married. Throughout the film, he spends his time trying to find ways to be in the picture, no matter the consequences (since he's a drop dead gorgeous guy, he's frequently tempted by guys who have power in the business) he fights for that role mostly because it's the only thing for him to do. Gathered here is the ultimate members of the decadent career group: Lohan post-rehab career, another low movie for her; the unlucky director Schrader - his latest ventures are quite troubled, specially with producers who remove the man cause he never delivers the movie they wanted (apparently, that didn't happen here but it happened with the fourth Exorcist and the recent "Dying of the Light") but at one time he was a gifted filmmaker and writer; and Ellis, whose script is just another proof that some novelists shouldn't write original film material. Coming out of the porn universe, Mr. Deen proves to be a suitable and good choice for the frightening character he plays, his alpha-male quality was powerful enough to make you believe this guy can do anything he wants and with anyone he wants. A little bit of acting classes and he might have a future in mainstream films. Also from porn, but just doing a bit uncredited part is Danny Wylde who should have a better and bigger cameo. The only ones who escape without injuries are Nolan Funk, quite good in some moments, and one scene stealer Gus Van Sant as Christian's shrink. Just because it's a movie about decadence filled with down and out people that doesn't mean the final project should be like them. The fore-mentioned classic is a clear evidence of this. 3/10

aforandromeda The Canyons lays it's cards on the table right from the beginning. The opening scene introduces the main protagonists right off the bat, a curious tactic that immediately signposts the motivations of all the characters.Tara (Lindsay Lohan) and her rich boyfriend Christian (James Deen) are a couple seemingly living the Hollywood dream. Christian is in the process of cobbling together a low budget slasher movie, using his considerable trust fund in order to break into the film industry. However, the movie's lead, the naive and inexperienced Ryan (Nolan Funk), has a secret that threatens to derail the movie and shatter Tara's relationship with Christian. What follows is a story of suspicion, betrayal and secrets, set in the seedy underbelly of a Los Angeles populated by dream chasers and wanton, predatory selfishness.The first ten minutes tell the audience immediately that we are dealing with shallow and vacuous individuals, grasping at every opportunity in order to satisfy their self serving natures. This presents the main problems that ultimately ruin any chance that The Canyons might have had of being a compelling drama. In order for a drama to succeed where the majority of the characters are simply dreadful, there has to something to engage the viewer. That could be an interesting script, stylish direction or passionate and sincere performances. The Canyons regrettably has none of these to offer the viewer.Bret Easton Ellis' script is quite amazingly dull. It really does give the actors very little to work with. The story line contains an unbelievable series of coincidences, the dialogue would embarrass an amateur dramatics class and the characters have no depth to them at all. Lohan tries gamely to prove her acting chops in some scenes, but the dialogue gives her nothing but tired, predictable lines to try and give some life to. It doesn't help matters any further for her that she spends most of the movie opposite James Deen, a porn star who has little or no real acting experience. He starts the movie off reasonably enough, but by the end his acting becomes forced and clichéd. Unfortunately, although Deen isn't primarily a dramatic actor, you can't help but feel that a better director could have coached more out of him. However, even he is streets ahead of the ludicrously named Nolan Funk, who gives a vacant, amateurish and dreadfully stilted performance. That leads me to one of the most significant problems that The Canyons suffers from, that being director Paul Schrader.Despite his impressive list of past credits, including directing edgy and challenging projects such as Blue Collar and American Gigolo, as well as writing screenplays for most notably Taxi Driver and Raging Bull, it's made abundantly clear from The Canyons why he doesn't make many movies these days. His style is quite simply outdated and his efforts here show that he has done little to keep up with the changes in modern film making that audiences do not unreasonably expect.The camera-work is creaky and linear, the editing is poor and he overwhelmingly fails to get the best out of an admittedly ragbag collection of actors. You always feel like the crew are in the scene, such are the hackneyed nature of the set ups. For example, many scenes feature an entrance from a character walking into a room with the camera at first at a distance, then either panning across or following them in an unimaginative and linear fashion once it leaves it's previously rigidly static position. Many set ups feel disconcertingly framed, yet they feature hardly anything of interest, lending a stagey, unnatural feel to the proceedings. Strangely, the much talked about sex scenes are so tepid and perfunctory you wonder why they were even bothered with, yet it seems Schrader wanted to elicit some kind of outrageous shock value from them. As they stand, even the actors look rather embarrassed to be in them, even though of course one of them is a porn star.The talky nature of the dialogue also grates even more than it should as the scenes appear disjointed, either being too long or too short, then simply going on to leave the plot devoid of pace and flow. Locations are curiously bland and the cinematography is completely by the numbers. It all feels very much like the work of someone who didn't have any fresh ideas or flair to assist this very oddly assembled cast who were stuck working with such a tepid script. Everything feels very clichéd and predictable, almost to the point of ridicule.While Lohan's allegedly erratic behaviour on the set of The Canyons has been well documented, she is actually the only member of this motley crew of a cast to show any real acting ability. There are a handful of scenes that serve as reminders that before her life descended into chaos, she was indeed an real talent with great potential. It would therefore be unfair to blame Lohan and point the finger at her, as many have done, for the critical mauling that The Canyons received. The real blame must go to Ellis and Schrader. I find it remarkable that such an empty screenplay would be made into a movie in the first place and Schrader is a director who is squarely stuck in the past, with his best days as an auteur sadly long behind him.It's hard to fathom out to what kind of audience The Canyons was aimed at, as it has contains so little in the way of redeeming features. It all amounts to what is frankly an irrelevant and entirely unessential piece of film making that's unquestionably one to avoid. Unfortunately for Lindsay Lohan, this project should have been one for her to avoid as well.

M MALIK I will be honest here gone are the days of 90s when we used to have great soft core films i still love those plus the cast used to be filled with some of the hottest women in the world i can name a few like Shannon Tweed,Shannan Leigh,Gabriella hall or even Rochelle Swanson but now its a new era where people prefer action & guns over sexy women the director Paul Schrader tried to blend some of that 90s stuff for todays audience but failed to realize that soft-core and hardcore films do exist even today launching it into a theatrical release using one biggest star Lindsay Lohan will not make it a success.The Plot:the story is about Christian a strange film producer who gets mad and chooses path of violence when he finds out about the affair between cast members Tara and Ryan.There was no strong base in the story it offers nothing new that we haven't seen before also this triangular love story is really becoming useless,old,boring and uninteresting the actors did not have much to do here the script never allowed the characters but if you are looking for some nudity and hot sexy scenes there is only one epic scene in the start of the film with Tenille Houston it is amazingly shot.The Cast:Lindsay Lohan got wasted here & James Deen is a porn actor but he did better then many actors but the only great lady worth looking in this film is Tenille Houston she got the looks plus good dialog delivery sadly she is not famous i loved her performance & will be looking forward to more of her films.Overall this project took itself too seriously and became hilarious at many points it will kinda remind you of wild things series so my rating for The Canyons 2013 is 4/10.