Steinesongo
Too many fans seem to be blown away
Supelice
Dreadfully Boring
Tacticalin
An absolute waste of money
Mathilde the Guild
Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.
hurd62
Roller Blade is not and has not pretense of being a great movie. Anyone applying a rigorous scientific analysis to the technologies depicted will either pull out her hair or laugh herself silly.But it delivers exactly what it promises = action & babes in skimpy outfits. And as one of those babes is the delicious Michelle Bauer, this remains one of my guilty pleasures.There were just enough literary references in the movie to lead me to believe the producers toyed with the idea of making it a serious flick, but then we were treated to more babes.All Michelle Bauer fans should watch every film she ever appears in, even this one.
vampiremovies
I'm a big fan of B-Movies, but even the sight of Michelle Bauer naked and the novelty of rollerblading nuns 'skating the path of righteousness' is not enough to save this film.I have now seen the first three of the five "Rollerblade" films - why oh why I ask myself!!! This is not the worst (I kid you not) Rollerblade 7 (no. 3 in the saga) is a close contender for worst movie EVER made. But it is still terrible. Set in some kind of post apocalypse mad max world these mystic rollerblading nuns who worship the acidman face are the force of order - Honor bound to defeat all chaotic minions in this case the evil Dr. Satacoy, a leather faced rocket scientist with a pervy puppet for a hand.
What gets me most is the mock Shakesperian language, often with a put on French (I think) accent. Mother Speed, the wheelchair bound leader of the rollerblade order likes saying "yea verily" and thus, thee and tresspass are stuck in quite a bit. Terrible dialogue, Bad acting, poor cinamatography, laughable special effects, non-sensical plot.... Who came up with this garbage?!
J. Mike Perkins
No question about it, this film is awful. Perhaps the most amazing thing is that it appears to have 4 sequels! The only one I have seen is Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force, and its just as bad.Although a bit boring, I will give the film points for a creative plot. In some kind of post nuclear wasteland type (Mad Max rip off) world, there exists a group of roller skating nuns. They worship a 1970's era happy face icon. Their leader is named Mother Speed. She sits in a wheelchair with her skates on. She endlessly babbles horrible mock-Shakespearian dialogue, her favorite phrase is "Yeah Verily." Several of her nuns are played by actresses who are porn stars. They don't wear much normally and like to strip naked for certain initiation rites which take place in a hot tub (which still somehow works perfectly after everything else has been destroyed). The nuns can heal wounds with special powers which cause the happy face to appear. There is one notable scene with Mother Speed endlessly turning the handle of a pencil sharpener (with an orange happy face on top) which is attached to a Panasonic telephone answering machine. It makes a kind of whining noise while others look on in wonder.The nuns battle their enemy Dr. Saticoy (which is named after a street in L.A.). A bunch of stupid stuff happens and Saticoy is eventually launched into the air on some kind of rocket powered device. Its real hard to figure out exactly what this is all about as the plot gets hopelessly lost as the film goes on.Bad as this film is, it might actually be a little better than the director's previous film The Demon Lover from 1976. I'm amazed this director actually has 19 film credits!
SurfNazi
I thought this movie was great! You've got nuns on rollerskates, women, punk rockers and more! If you enjoy low budget films, check this one out... it's worth it.