SnoReptilePlenty Memorable, crazy movie

Sexylocher Masterful Movie

Twilightfa Watch something else. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film.

Hadrina The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

inhopewell To describe "Robo Vampire" as a "trainwreck" would imply that it has more continuity than it does; indeed, this film seems to have been made by at least two separate film crews at different times, then stuck together.I've read Chinese folklore, and I don't recall ever reading about hopping vampires who shoot sparks out of their sleeves. Of course, without them, this flick would be a lot less fun. The head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and has an affair with a ghost girl in a see-through top, with what sounds like a Midwestern accent.There's gangsters, soldiers, mercenaries, cops, vampires, and a cyborg who looks like he was crafted from disposable roasting pans and duct tape.Overall, the film is reminiscent of the worst of Al Adamson, with an Asian flavor.

Woodyanders This astoundingly abysmal piece of unmitigated schlock rates highly as one of the single most sublimely stupid and sidesplitting kitsch hoots I've had the pleasure to watch in quite a while. An evil drug lord uses a bunch of rot-faced hopping vampires to retain his power. Narcotics agent Tom Wilde gets shot and killed in the line of duty. He's brought back to life as a lethal and unstoppable cyborg who looks like he's been wrapped from head to toe in bright shiny tin foil. Meanwhile a macho meathead mercenary guy battles dope dealers in the jungle who have abducted a beautiful blonde babe agent. Boy, does this jaw-dropping dreadful doozy possess all the correct so-utterly-wrong-that-they're-paradoxically-right stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: fumbling (mis)direction, priceless dopey dialogue (favorite line: "Kill the priest, quick!"), ineptly staged shoot-outs, hilariously horrible dubbing, plentiful gut-busting over-the-top chopysocky fight scenes, broadly drawn characters, horrendously hammy acting, a silly romantic subplot involving the head vampire guy who can fire sparks from his fingertips and a sexy ghost girl wearing a semi-transparent gown (said sexy ghost girl is obviously doubled by a man during her more strenuous fight scenes!), a generic hum'n'shiver synthesizer score, outrageously gruesome, yet tacky gore, a rambling and barely coherent narrative (this flick is clearly two separate movies which have been sloppily edited together), a nonstop frantic pace, and a seriously messed-up story that clumsily combines elements of horror, action, martial arts, crime thriller and even comedy into a spectacularly ungodly brew. An undeniably awful, but often uproarious and always immensely entertaining serving of infectiously inane celluloid lunacy.

mage360 This is hands down the worst movie I have seen in my life. It tore at my fragile sanity. Now, I gotta warn you, there's some spoilers in here, if you can call them spoilers. I like to think this movie was filmed in real time and actually happened because something like this can't be written. It defies logic.So drug dealers get a zombie wrangler to summon zombies, and this "anti-drug agent" tries to hunt them down but dies, or so we're led to believe by the abysmal face paint applied to him. He is brought back to life as an android wearing a suit made of silver oven mitts and wearing a helmet that doesn't fit. If I was brought back as an android that looked like that, I'd empty my clip into myself. But wait! There's more! See, one of the zombies (who inexplicably wears a gorilla mask) is in love with a ghost.And some other stuff happens. I can't really remember. My brain blocked it out to save me from the horrifically bad imagery. The "zombies" shoot sparklers at the anti-drug agents. Yes, sparklers. I must admit, though, the cover on the DVD makes me laugh a lot. It shows Robocop in a pose that can only be described as lovingly holding the zombie wearing the gorilla mask.

eykemans When you see this movie, there are several scenes to watch in slow motion. When the Blond Woman leaps out the window, when Robo is blown up by a bazooka, and when the Guy on the Roof tosses the other Guy on the Roof off of the roof. These are all very funny.