Platicsco Good story, Not enough for a whole film

SparkMore n my opinion it was a great movie with some interesting elements, even though having some plot holes and the ending probably was just too messy and crammed together, but still fun to watch and not your casual movie that is similar to all other ones.

HottWwjdIam There is just so much movie here. For some it may be too much. But in the same secretly sarcastic way most telemarketers say the phrase, the title of this one is particularly apt.

Stephan Hammond It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Lance Cole OK, I like B...and even some decent C movies. Going in, if you know it is a B, or C, you can offset it normally...maybe consider low budget might be offset by cute girls, scary off-screen suspense, or maybe just a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor. Kurt Angle has nothing to bring to this movie, and for him to be in over half the scenes, it's like seeing a tax auditor show up...and read his lines from a 3x5 index card. You know it's bad going in, when in the first scene you see him, you notice the cardboard 'sheriff's star' on his brown ballcap. A budget over $3 million, and they couldn't actually get him a plastic badge? Geesh. Do you remember high school, and someone having to read from a textbook? Do you remember the poor readers that made each word an agony to hear, as you followed along in the book, wanting to help them read it to ease the pain? Yeah, this movie is like that...only much worse. Do yourself a favor, pass on this movie and watch Scorpion King II, or Ishtar, or Jaws 4 or Rocky 5 or something...they are far less painful to your mind.

juliethood One of the worst scripts ever. This film was written, directed and produced by Bruce Koehler. I firmly believe he did it all himself because no one else was stupid enough to think that the abysmal script would work as anything other than toilet paper.The acting was so wooden that the rest of the cast made Angle and co look like the spirits of Olivier. Don't get me wrong, they were by no means good. But the film started poor and just got steadily worse. The cinematography would have been substandard for views of Home and Away. Even low budget B-Movies should have standards. One last thing. Don't get me started on the 'special effects'. I have seen more convincing at Halloween parties.In all this was amateur hour at its very worst.

TheLittleSongbird I love movies of all genres, of any age, regardless of how good or bad they are. But River of Darkness doesn't deliver on any level. So far there have been some gems such as Rango, some mediocre efforts like Sanctum and some poorly conceived movies such as Battle:Los Angeles and Justin Bieber:Never Say Never. But River of Darkness is the only movie so far this year that I downright despise, it is that bad! River of Darkness is a good example of a movie that is all style, no substance. Saying that does nothing in the film's favour, because production-values wise this film is shoddy. The scenery and sets have an appropriately Gothic look to them, but they are completely ruined by the cinematography and editing which makes the movie look as though it has been edited on a bacon slicer and the lighting which is incredibly dull.River of Darkness fails epically in the story and writing as well. The story did have a nice arc to it on paper, but the execution was so derivative and poor one couldn't help thinking River of Darkness offers nothing new to the genre. Not one scene is believable in any way, the murders are all gore no heart no matter how marginally impressive the gore is. But that is nothing compared to the dialogue, I have heard some bad dialogue in many movies but River of Dakrness has some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard in my entire life. It is so cheesy and forced, and so clichéd and melodramatic I could not take it seriously at all.The film's direction is incompetent. In fact the direction is so sloppy that the film could have easily had no direction whatsoever. The characters I felt nothing for whatsoever, they are written terribly and you learn next to nothing about them. The pace is languid so much so nothing comes to life. None of the actors are genuine or brings heart to their characters either.Overall, a shoddy mess and to be avoided. 0/10 Bethany Cox

retro-37 The movie itself is pretty well filmed, and particularly the night scenes, replete with back lit creepy scenarios and suitably applied wafts of mist, make for good viewing. The best moments do actually come when the Jacobs family appear out of the mist and set about their tirade of terror. Fans of wrestling will no doubt delight in seeing the icons Psycho Sid Vicious and Kevin Nash apply their might to taking out the trash on the big screen. There really is something quite enjoyably quirky visible in their eyes when they swing that axe. Go Big Daddy 'Kill' !. This one is really for fans of the wrestling stars on show, and die hard 'B' movie horror fanatics easily forgiving of such well intentioned trite. Former Olympic champion Kurt Angle might have greater success in attaining future gold chasing the end of a rainbow than pursuing a serious acting career, but if he can take himself less seriously in future roles it could be good times for all. Oh it's true, it's damn true !.