ada
the leading man is my tpye
Sanjeev Waters
A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.
Hattie
I didn’t really have many expectations going into the movie (good or bad), but I actually really enjoyed it. I really liked the characters and the banter between them.
fcabanski
As a grindhouse movie it's a 10. The acting is overall terrific - Alba is only pretty bad, which is very good for her. The action is terrific. The story is terrific - it's crazy, it twists all around the place, that's terrific.But the Hollyweirdos who made it couldn't help but throw in glorifying illegals and demonizing people who want a secure border in America. The political message is misplaced. But Hollyweirdos can't help themselves."Don't take it seriously, it's exploitation...except people who are anti immigrant are racist." Yes, I purposely used "immigrant" instead of "illegal". People in Hollyweird can't demonize those who want a secure border without lying. So the constant message is about people who are against immigrants rather than the truth - people are against illegals breaking into the country.The political message is a -10, so it pulls the movie down to a 0. 1 is the lowest rating. It's a 1.
Andrew Gold
Machete is one of the funnest movies I've ever seen. Right from the beginning you know this movie doesn't take itself seriously. It's essentially a live-action cartoon with A-list actors. You have Danny Trejo - the antithesis of a leading man - carrying the movie as Machete, the unkillable badass Mexican James Bond. If you want to talk plot, this is basically a revenge story. Steven Seagal kills his family, then years later Machete gets caught up in a political scandal where Robert De Niro is playing a cross between George Bush and Donald Trump, and somehow Seagal's character is pulling the strings. It's as amazing as it sounds. Then you have Don Johnson as the head of border patrol or something, mowing down Mexicans all over the place, and Jeff Fahey as one of Seagal's enforcers in Texas. Now you may be thinking, "Four villains? This sounds more convoluted than Spiderman 3!" And you'd have a point if this was a traditional action movie, but it's not. At all. It's a comedy more than anything with some ridiculous action sequences and gratuitous T&A all over the place. These characters just serve to forward the plot, and to give us some belly laughs, and somehow it all works beautifully.Jessica Alba is one of the officers assigned to this scandal. Michelle Rodriguez serves as the leader of a Mexican resistance, oh and there's Lindsey Lohan playing Jeff Fahey's "religious" daughter. There are so many characters and somehow they all fit the movie perfectly. All of the acting is great (well, Alba is never "great" but she serves her purpose and she's as hot as a supernova so who cares). But you can buy Robert De Niro as a corrupt senator, Don Johnson as this racist megalomaniac, Fahey as this hard-ass enforcer, and Seagal as a Mexican drug lord. Yeah. And the best part is they're all having a blast. It's pure mayhem going on, and you're not bored for a second. Danny Trejo as the title character deserves much props though. He just looks like a guy who would have a wide array of knives stashed under his vest, and the guy is making out with some of the hottest women on the planet. It's the role of a lifetime.Robert Rodriguez is amazing for making this an actual movie, and the cast are amazing for agreeing to be part of this project. It's so, so, SO entertaining. It's damn near impossible to sit through this movie with a straight face. I had a big fat grin throughout the whole thing. If you like silly action movies with fantastic actors and a surprisingly good plot, then look no further than Machete.
juneebuggy
This was all kinds of awesome. Just a fun, over-the top, gleefully violent, messy, sexy and deliriously brutal movie. Danny Trejo is perfect as "Machete" a blade-wielding former Mexican Federale who seeks vengeance after he is betrayed by his boss and then set up by corrupt U.S politicians during a high profile assignation attempt on an American senator.Surprisingly great cast here that while random came together really well. Michelle Rodriguez is gorgeous as "She" (wow that final outfit) as is Jessica Alba as ICE Agent Sartana. Fun to see Don Johnson again, and I enjoyed the epicness of Steven Segal. Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, Jeff Fahey also turn up. Really the only cast member I felt didn't fit in was Robert DeNiro.I laughed several times during this and enjoyed the badass-ed-ness of Danny Trejo. I also loved that he always got the girl. The final (very bloody) battle is beyond epic with Machete on the motorcycle, propelled through an explosion and taking out the bad guys with a huge gun. Bullets and bloodshed galore.
bensonmum2
I'm really not sure where to begin. Let's just skip the the normal plot summary. Suffice it to say that Machete looks for revenge on those who killed his family and, then, set him up. But the plot hardly matters. Machete has got so much going on, so much coolness, so much violence, so much action . . . I'm not sure I can do it justice. I can't, so I'll just mention a few things that I really like.First, the cast. When I read the list of actors in Machete to my wife, she thought I was on drugs. In addition to Danny Trejo, there's Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Robert De Niro (yeah, freakin' Robert De Niro), Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez (mmmmm), Lindsay Lohan, Steven Segal, and more. And one of the cool things, they all look like they're having fun.Second, action. Other than one or two places in he script, Machete never slows down. Most of it is like riding a roller coaster. Fights, chases, explosions, heads rolling, blood . . . it's got it all. A couple of my favorite moments include Machete riding that motorcycle with guns blazing and Machete swinging from one floor of a building to the next using some guy's intestines. Good stuff!Third, Robert Rodriguez. While I've always enjoyed his work, it's only recently that I've realized how much. From Desperado to Spy Kids to Machete, his films have a look and style that appeals to me. I'm really looking forward to see where his career leads. I'm not stupid and I realize that Machete is not a movie that will work with everyone (my wife thought it was ridiculous). I understand its critics and their issues. Machete is one of those movies that really shows how I rate movies. For me, ratings are all about entertainment. And Machete entertained me like few recent movies have. A 9/10 from me.
