gregeichelberger
I suppose you need to be in a New York state of mind to enjoy "Lola Versus," but, Phillistine that I am, I just could not pull it off. I also know exactly what many of the smug, self-styled intellectual reviewers are going to write and say about this film. That it's smart, quirky, snappy, gritty, real and funny.Don't believe any of that.Once again, I know I will be in the minority opinion, but to this scribbler, it's nothing but a series of unrelated sentences that seeks to substitute for a coherent script; a junk drawer full of supposedly wry and witty bon mots desperately in search of a plot, written by someone with Attention Deficit Disorder. It seemingly wants to be as clever as "Juno," but does not want to work for it. Of course, it's handicapped because it has neither the intelligence, charm or talent featured in that film. In fact, it's not even a low-rent "500 Days Of Summer," the next picture on the "Will-I-ever-find-true-love-again" bandwagon."Lola Versus" is the follow-up to "Breaking Upwards" from writer/director team Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones, where the filmmakers attempted to use conventional romcom figures of speech to jump-start conversations that ultimately went nowhere. This goes twice as much for Wein's latest release.He isn't given much to work with, however. In "Lola," we get actors such as Greta Gerwig ("No Strings Attached"), Joel Kinnaman ("Safe House," "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"), Hamish Linklater ("Battleship"), Lister-Jones ("The Other Guys," "Salt") and Ebon Moss-Bachrach ("The Lake House," Higher Ground").Oh sure, we also see veteran Bill Pullman (whose last significant work was "Rio Sex Comedy") and Academy Award-nominated (for "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Terms of Endearment") actress, Debra Winger; both are wasted, though, as a terminally high father and nagging mother, respectively.Here, Gerwig plays the eponymous character, who lives in New York and has one of those New York lives that exist only in movies like this. She lives in a perfect, rent-controlled apartment and is engaged to uber stud, Luke (Kinnaman). It seems to be a match made in Heaven, until a chronic case of cold feet causes him to dump her three weeks before the wedding.This can happen. I personally know of a situation similar, but no one is going to put THAT story up on the big screen. Lola takes it hard - very hard. She sleeps for what seems like months (only waking to eat a few potato chips and wallow in self-pity, much like the audience). Later, her friend, Alice (Jones), tries to console her by taking her to singles bars and getting her plastered at private parties.Lola pays her back by sleeping with Alice's on-again, off-again boyfriend, Henry (Linklater), who plays in the world's lamest band. Their relationship begins with an innocent sleep-but-don't-touch thing, but soon devolves into a full-blown affair.And, since Gerwig's character is a 29-year old New Yorker, she is shallow, annoying, promiscuous and completely self-absorbed. She's also a pothead and an alcoholic, to boot. Plus, not since Kristin Wiig's embarrassing "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" breakdown in "Bridesmaids," do we get a female that goes Hollywood mental at just the wrong time (just because she sees Nick talking to another girl).All of this while trying to get her life back on track. However, she falls back into her old habits by cheating on her rebound guy with Nick Oyster (Moss-Bachrach), a well-endowed fish salesman (get it?). Lola has sex with him, then complains because he's bothers her, which is certainly the pot calling the kettle black here.Finally, Nick, seeing the error of his ways comes back into her life, and, of course, Lola forgives him and - gasp - has sex with him (how novel, a male character she sleeps with). In fact, she has baseless, passionless, meaningless intercourse so many times, it frankly becomes as irritating as Gerwig's empty, one-note performance.It's also very hard to feel sorry for someone who constantly blubbers because she cannot find love, yet has a perfect face and body, a full support group and seemingly beds every man in the Bronx. We all have our troubles and few tears are going to be wasted on her situation.Lister-Jones, who is equally bothersome most of the time, although a bit less self-centered as Lola, is probably the best thing about this movie (and that is certainly not saying very much). It's sad though, that while she steals every scene she's in, it's all petty larceny in the end. None of the other characters even approach empathy, chemistry or believability.All the while, the writing tandem attempts a viewer connection by name-dropping such entities as Facebook, match.com and Yelp!, but they spoil everything by practically waving their hands about frantically and shouting, "Hey! We're smarter than all of you! This movie is what life, love and finally growing up is really all about!" As previously written, don't believe that for a minute.
