Linbeymusol Wonderful character development!

Afouotos Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

Whitech It is not only a funny movie, but it allows a great amount of joy for anyone who watches it.

Marva-nova Amazing worth wacthing. So good. Biased but well made with many good points.

Coventry Phew, I'm really glad that's over! Many movies are plain bad, but "Boardinghouse" goes several stages beyond bad; - straight to the point of being downright unwatchable. After three failed attempts already, I now literally forced myself to finish it, and only good old-fashioned stubbornness (I did pay 12 Euros for the French DVD edition after all) motivated me to persist until the end. You could ask yourself several valid questions whilst analyzing "Boardinghouse". What was John Wintergate thinking when he penned down the script and reckoned it would make a proper film? Better yet, what were the producers and distributors thinking when they decided to theatrically release this piece of SOV rubbish? But let's get back to John Wintergate, as he is the undoubtedly proud writer, director, make-up artist and lead hero of his self-declared masterpiece. Wintergate certainly doesn't have any modesty issues, as he introduces his character Jim Royce as a telekinetically gifted yoga-instructor and natural born ladies' magnet. When Jim inherits and reopens a former boardinghouse, beautiful and lewd girls are literally standing in line to become his tenants! These girls don't mind sharing Jim's hunky muscular body, spend their days splashing in the pool like 8-year-olds and gaze with sheer admiration when Jim randomly levitates eggs. In fact, the only remotely meaningful line of dialogue in the entire film comes from a supportive male character when he enters the house, looks around and asks: "What is this, a harem?". Unfortunately for Jim and his babes, evil forces are also roaming within the walls of this boardinghouse. These evil forces caused several unresolved massacres in the past and not even our psychic wonder boy with his terrifying yoga-pants can prevent another bloodbath from happening! Apart from the utterly senseless script and the painfully amateurish acting performances, "Boardinghouse" is also inept in every single technical department. The SOV camerawork is obviously shoddy, the sound & editing are miserable, and even for this level of low-budget cinema, the splatter effects are abominable. Wintergate evidently also couldn't resist inserting a couple of pathetic and typically 80s gimmicks, like the "Horror Vision". This concerns showing a bizarre image and playing a nearly inaudible sound prior to "shocking and/or petrifying scenes", supposedly to warn squeamish spectators and give them an opportunity to look away. Yeah, whatever, stuff like that only worked when William Castle invented it in the late fifties/early sixties already. The only scary thing about this production is that there apparently exists a 157 minutes director's cut! Sitting through that version would be my personal definition of pure hell. "Boardinghouse" incomprehensible has a fair share of loyal fans, and there will always be people who recommend die-hard horror genre fanatics to check it out. Well, I'm also a die-hard horror fanatic, but I can safely confirm that "Boardinghouse" is NOT worth your time or money.

slayrrr666 "Boardinghouse" is a purely dull and cheap slasher without a whole lot of positive points.**SPOILERS**Inheriting a new mansion, psychic Jim Royce, (John Wintergate) decides to rent out the extra rooms to women in the area. Getting recipients in the form of Victoria, (Kalassu) Sandy, (Belma Kora) Suzie, (Tracy O'Brien) Cindy, (Mary McKinley) Gloria, (Rosane Woods) Pam, (Cindy Williamson) and Debbie Hoffman, (Alexandra Day) they all move in together. Thinking that something is wrong, the girls decide to investigate and soon find out about the psychic abilities in between them all sleeping around on each other. Suddenly noticing that now the girls are slowly disappearing, they try to find out what's going on and realize that a supernatural force has possessed the house and is killing them off one-by-one, forcing them into a battle to take back control of the house.The Good News: This one doesn't have a whole lot of good points. The fact that there's a lot of nudity present is the film's biggest plus. This one shows off a larger amount of female flesh than expected, and it gives it a sleazy air. There's a lot of times where they just disrobe for no reason, including the majority of times they're playing around in the pool or the numerous times that they decide to take a bath or a shower. A sex scene sprinkled in every now and then adds to that factor and altogether this one has a lot of nudity for those who expect that sort of thing. The extended dream chase sequences spread throughout do offer up a little bit of excitement. The main one where they chase the girl around the house using the different visions conjured up from her previous nightmares is pretty entertaining, getting in a lot of rather creepy effects mixed in with a couple of rather impressive scenes. This one has a couple of them spread throughout, although that one will really get the most attention. The last fact is that the gore and kills in here are quite nice. Though cheap, there's enough blood involved to make it worthwhile. There's a gory icepick through the neck, being forced to claw their own eyes out, a heart ripped out, being electrocuted when a hair-dryer falls into the bathtub as well as being compelled to bleed from various points on the body. Not really spectacular, but they get the job done for the film.The Bad News: This one has a couple of really big flaws to it. One of the main ones is that it's way too long. This one easily should've been cut down by at least ten minutes, as this one really feels it's length and then some. Very rarely does a film feel longer than it really is, and this one nearly feels like it's two hours long. This is brought on by the very that it's way too dull, barely doing anything that brings excitement. So rare, in fact, that far too often an interminably long period will go by without the slightest bit of interesting things going on for no reason at all. There's periods of time where it could go for at least twenty minutes without anything other rather inane conversations between them all. That is something that should've been cut down drastically, as it's way too much time to have to listen to all these really useless scenes since they're just so dull to sit through and take up a large amount of time. There's also the fact that this one is really cheap-looking, especially in several areas. The fact that it's blood and gore look very fake is one thing, as well as the incredibly closed-off look of the house is right among it. That is something which really hurts it, as does the cheesy psychic storyline. There's nothing in here that really gives it a sense of being used for anything other than a character trait. It's not used at all until the end and various segments, that at some point the very inclusion needs to make sense. There's plenty of others that could've been included instead that could've had an impact on the proceedings. The last flaw is the really lame "violence counter" on display. This pops up whenever there's something violent about to happen, where the screen will distort to a different color. It's quite a distraction and it's done every single time that something violent happens, leading to all of those scenes getting really tiresome. These really lower the film and are the cause for the film's flaws.The Final Verdict: This one doesn't have a whole lot of right points and a lot more flaws, making it seem really disappointing. There's really almost no need to see this, unless you have to see nearly every single slasher out there or need a sleaze fix, but just about everyone else should stay away from this one.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Nudity, sex scenes, animal violence and Language

lthseldy1 Oh this movie was really bad, it's one of those movies that you can't judge a movie by it's cover movie. This movie was about a playboy, Don Johnson with a bad hairdo gigolo that inherits a house haunted by the previous owners who apparently died during a party ten years ago. After the man gets settled in, he totally surrounds himself with women that look to be rejects from a cheap porno movie that couldn't get any decent roles much less acting abilty and decided to settle with this one instead. Jim, the owner of the house is into some metaphysics and involves one of the tenants with it also who is having nightmares that become obnoxious throughout the movie with her midnight screaming and unexplained flashbacks of the meaning of these dreams. In the beginning of the movie we are subjected with typing words that gave me more of a headache than this horrible movie did. During the movie we see a drunk veteran that the movie seems to place as the killer in the movie who is all but laughable in his biker suit, wig and glasses. After watching this movie, I wanted to do exactly what the victims did to themselves in this movie and that was to rip my guts out, dive in a pool and drown and I'm sure you'll feel the same way. Avoid it!

hamburger Holy Crapola-fest Batman! Dear God I haven't seen something so utterly bad, so awful, so mindnumbingly ATROCIOUS in all my years! This is pitiful. Just plain pitiful. I've seen dozens and dozens of schlocky, snooze-inducing, inconceivable messes of film but man does BOARDINGHOUSE take the friggin' cake! NEVER have I seen a film where it ACTUALLY hurt me to sit there and watch it! Ok, now that I'm done with my unnecessary banter...let me explain to you the award winning "plot" (LOL!). A man (who is really awkward looking) rents a house for sale and places an ad in the paper for "women 18-25 not attached and beautiful". Naturally, a bunch of fun lovin' 20 somethings show up. Throughout the movie they whine, moan, and complain...occasionally showing up in various states of undress (isn't that a MUST in 80s exploitation??). All fun aside (yeah, right) a poltergeist moves into the house to brutally butcher, chop, mutilate, and murder our adorable girls. These murder sequences are indeed quite gory, but I'll be damned if they were done by anyone who is, at the very least, a competent (and that's saying a lot) fx artist. Take one scene in the beginning of the movie for instance: This poltergeist creature (or whatever you wanna call it) uses some kind of mind control to force a guy to literally disembowel himself. It is night at first, but when the camera goes in for the close-up to show the guy graphically pulling out his intestines it is in broad DAYLIGHT! It's SO noticeable. I won't even mention the fact that the "guts" are simply just sitting at the bottom of his tucked-in shirt for him to grab out...the fx get worse. I can't remember how the movie ends since it's been awhile (or maybe I suffered brain damage), but much of the film we're lead to believe the main protagonist is the one responsible for the ghastly murders. Did I mention how awkward looking he is? Oh yeah, guess I did haha. Up and coming fx artists might want to take notice on how to do really cheap, amateurish make-up and blood. That's the ONLY good I might see coming from this film. Had it not been SOV, the script revised a bit (ok, a lot), cut out the boring/annoying stuff...it would've STILL only been just tolerable! At best!Oh yeah, I failed to mention this is all filmed in "Horror-Vision". Gory images follow an annoying UFO-like sound, or a poorly done, computer effect full of bright colors with a black-gloved hand on the screen (??) to warn viewers with a weaker stomach. Cool concept...none of which is done right. Don't let gutter trash like this take up 80 some mins. of your life. I regret it.