Beanbioca As Good As It Gets

HottWwjdIam There is just so much movie here. For some it may be too much. But in the same secretly sarcastic way most telemarketers say the phrase, the title of this one is particularly apt.

Doomtomylo a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

Skyler Great movie. Not sure what people expected but I found it highly entertaining.

dean-434 I actually worked on this shoot and I am sure it is no surprise to all of you that Lazar is the same in real life. I know what you are thinking, how can that be? How can someone with such little command of the English language be cast in a movie? I still do not know. His charm, much like someones nails across a blackboard, plays on you day after day until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in and he actually becomes a likable yet still incomprehensible guy. This charm and the fact Bonnie was not so hard on the eyes had me give this movie a 4 out of 10 (OK that and the fact I worked on it). But you all have missed the true brilliance of what went into making this picture, and that started with BD Benedikt its director and Hamid the DOP (and ex-film maker for the Shaw of Iran). Without the personal insight of these gentlemen into what the viewing audience wants, Lazar would not have been half the actor he was in this movie. I suggest strongly that if these two gentlemen were ever given money to make another film and you can find a copy, watch it! They were only getting warmed up by the end of this film. And for the record, it was shot in the basement of the Colonial Tavern across from the Eaton Centre on Yonge St. (Not BD's basement, which was an option). It has since been turned into green space.

Bornagainst Mr Reguly is correct, since about 15 years ago, we discovered this movie at the same time in high school.Mr. Rockwood defined our high school lives, and I am forever grateful. At least I think I am. We did drink a lot.Seriously though, this film is terrible, but is so infinitely quotable that any fan of B cinema owes it to themselves to seek it out!! How Lazar Rockwood was never picked up as a leading man in Hollywood is beyond me. Well, perhaps its because he can't act, or merely because he is just so unappealing to the eye. Perhaps we will never know. Mr. Rockwood makes me prouder to be Canadian than Celine Dion ever will!Bornagainst (Ryan)

deheor Today I got to experience 7th door on the Canadian channel drive in and I have got to say that even considering that it was a zero budget, shot in someones basement, crap-fest, the mindbogglingly bad performance by Lazar Rockwood has managed to set a standard by which all pathetic acting (and yes I am familiar with the painfully awful performances of Jessica Alba) will be forever judged against.I know the dialog was terrible, but is that any excuse for the way he would trip over his tongue before every line. I read another user comment that mentioned that his co-star seemed to throw up in her mouth during the love scene but I will admit that I missed that (I think my eyes were bleeding at the time or my mind just blocked it out).But truly the most disturbing fact is that Rockwood managed to get work after this film. His credit list is distressingly large. The plot for this film is very simple, a recently released criminal (played by Rockwood) convinces his ex-girlfriend to help him rip off her boss. Unfortunately what he does not realize is that the guy that he targeted enjoys setting traps for the thieves who try for his treasure. Most of the films run time involves our hapless heroes trying to solve some basic puzzles while inching closer to the big prize.Don't let the tongue in cheek reviews fool you. This is a truly awful movie that people should watch once simply to have a basis for comparison the next time someone complains about a bad film. No matter what movie is bothering them you can step up and say "you don't know what crap is until you endure beyond the 7th door". My only regret with watching this film was not getting a tape in the vcr quick enough so I could force others to watch it. Sometimes sharing pain is the best way to deal with it.

BrianSingleton Shot near Toronto, Ontario, this proudly Canadian horror film is truly one-of-a-kind. Beyond the 7th Door is a testament of shear, provocative film-making brilliance in the same league as the world heavyweight champion, "Science Crazed" (truly and indisputably, the worst movie ever made...and I dare you to prove me wrong!) A trashy couple take a painfully slow journey through an empty castle with seven rooms of deadly traps in search of a mysterious millionaire's hidden treasure. The pair are guided by the voice of a man sounding identical to the voice of Canadian actor Dan Woods (aka Mr. Raditch on the original, and far superior, Degrassi series). Woods is not credited, but the voice is a dead ringer. You be the judge.Story aside, Beyond the 7th Door is particularly infamous for the casting of phenom actor Lazar Rockwood, the movie's hypnotically hideous "leading man". Rockwood looks like a real-life version of Moe the Bartender crossed with The Toxic Avenger, his presence is nothing short of mesmerizing. Playing an ex-convict named Boris, Rockwood struggles through every line of every scene with broken English and autistic body language. Jerking and twitching spastically, wagging his tongue about, waving his tape measure and Batman-style tool belt, and hopelessly trying to maintain some small shred of dignity, Rockwood literally chews the scenery! Forced to endure Rockwood's company is the only other cast in the film, Boris's ex-girlfriend and partner in crime, Wendy (or as Lazar might say, "Vendy"), played by Bonnie Beck. Beck is a porno-calibre actress, but next to Lazar, you mistake her for Katherine Hepburn. In a memorable exchange at a coffee shop, Wendy criticizes Boris by saying, "Boris, you're not even a good thief!". Rockwood earnestly replies, "I'm getting better!". Outstanding.However, the true horror of Beyond the 7th Door is watching a shirtless and sexually charged Lazar Rockwood ravage Wendy's unfortunate body in a dirty, sludge-filled basement. The punchline being that she actually requests this! (I suspect this may have happened between takes and was accidentally caught on film, then thrown in by director Bennedikt for reality TV shock value...though it's a theory) The hands-down greatest moment in the film is Rockwood jump kicking through a cement wall, flying mullet and all! This should have been looped at least a dozen times, then a dozen more in slow motion. It's genius! The second best part could have been the ultimate death of Boris in the final moments caused, appropriately, by his own unthinkable incompetence... but Rockwood can't even DIE properly! His body explodes OFF camera with not a trace of blood to be seen! (Though this does set it up for Beyond the 7th Door 2: Beyond the 8th Door! Did Rockwood really die? Who knows?)In the end, Beyond the 7th Door leaves you with many more questions than answers, mostly about Rockwood himself and the events surrounding his involvement. Although these questions will likely never be answered, when the final credits role you will be left dumbfounded and perplexed for weeks to come. Since Hollywood is on a never ending bender of butchering classic films in remake or "re-imagining" format, I suggest remaking this one. I also would like a Special Edition DVD of Beyond the 7th Door with 5 commentary tracks of Lazar Rockwood reciting one-liners from the film and a 3 hour featurette documenting Rockwood's entire career. A full-colour photo gallery of Rockwood would also be nice, plus some shirtless promotional stills and half a dozen international trailers. I'll be waiting with my money on the table.