ThiefHott Too much of everything

Rio Hayward All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Quiet Muffin This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Marva-nova Amazing worth wacthing. So good. Biased but well made with many good points.

udar55 Alien criminal Kol (Ross Hagen) escapes from an intergalactic prison and crash lands on Earth. The prison commander (Jan-Michael Vincent, clearly inebriated) sends the space hunter half cyborg Alienator (Teagan Clive) to terminate him. Kol ends up being hit by some kids in an RV and they take him to Ward Armstrong (John Phillip Law), the local game warden, and everyone soon finds themselves in a battle for their lives. This is another Fred Olen Ray cheapie that is an entertaining time passer if you are in the right mood. Teagan Clive, a female body builder, is certainly an odd choice for the hunter and her costume (including an awful fright wig) certainly does the character no favors. However, the film moves briskly and there is some intentionally funny dialog here and there. Best of all, Ray populates the supporting roles with some great old timers including Leo Gordon (as a war hungry Colonel who helps out), Robert Quarry (as a drunk doctor), and Hoke Howell (as a redneck brother alongside Fox Harris, who the picture is dedicated to). The space prison (actually a big factory) sequences also feature Jay Richardson, Joe Pilato, and P.J. Soles.

Woodyanders Evil prison inmate Kol (essayed with hammy brio by Ross Hagen) escapes to Earth after breaking out from a remote space station penitentiary. The warden (a seriously cranky Jan-Michael Vincent) sends an unstoppable assassin known as the Alienator (beefy butch bodybuilder Teagan) to take Kol down. Boy, does this cruddy low-budget sci-fi clunker fail to hit the mark: The ham-fisted (mis)direction by Fred Olen Ray, plodding pace, a shabby script by Paul Garson, lots of comically bad acting, ineptly staged action set pieces, tacky (far from) special effects, dopey humor, tin-eared dialogue ("Your lover boy is burnt toast by now"), mild gore, and a crippling lack of both tension and vitality ensure that this honey ain't ever going to be reappraised as some kind of unjustly maligned lost classic. Chuck Cirino's mechanically bouncy score doesn't help matters any. On the plus side, John Phillip Law tries hard as rugged game warden Ward Armstrong, P.J. Soles shows off some tasty cleavage, Hoke Howell and Fox Harris provide a few laughs as a pair of bumbling idiot poachers, and Leo Gordon chews up the scenery with lip-smacking glee as gung-ho two-fisted Vietnam veteran Colonel Coburn. A real schlockfest.

Michael_Elliott Alienator (1990) * 1/2 (out of 4) With Fred Olen Ray directing and just looking at the title and what movie it's "copying" you should know what to expect. Kol (Ross Hagen) is about to be executed when he escapes his planet so the commander (Jan-Michael Vincent) sends a female alien to Earth to try and track him down. Kol ends up running into a sheriff and five drunks and soon they're caught up in this battle. There's no big secret that ALIENATOR is a pretty bad movie but I have to give credit to director Fred Olen Ray for at least knowing he's making a low-budget, bad movie. The reason I say that is that I often get the itch to watch a movie like this and more often than not you have a director thinking he's working with a $200-million dollar budget. The young director will try tricky shots, various plot twists and by the end of the movie you're asking yourself if the guy knew he was just making a piece of junk and you'll wonder why he thought he could do more with it. Mr. Ray doesn't go for that and instead it's clear that he knows what type of movie he's making and he just tries to make the best of it. This is certainly a bad film but at least there's some mild charm to be had. I thought there were a couple fairly funny moments but the highlight has to be the costume that our female killer wears. I'm not even going to attempt to try and explain it but once you see the thing you'll know what I mean. I also have to tip my hat to the outfit worn by P.J. Soles (HALLOWEEN, CARRIE) because it too is quite catchy and you can tell some imagination went into it. The special effects are obviously silly but it appears they're having a fun time with them. Yes, the performances are also bad but again credit has to go to Ray. Instead of trying to get the actors to do Shakespeare, he instead has some over-the-top moments that at least fits the performances. The violence/gore/nudity level is shockingly low, which is one negative thing as a bit more of any probably would have helped things. ALIENATOR is a bad film, yes, but when you compare it to other rips of THE TERMINATOR you'll see that it could have been much, much worse.

Kai-18 Recipe for one of the worst movies of all time: a she-male villain who looks like it escaped from the WWF, has terrible aim with a gun that has inconsistent effects (the first guy she shoots catches on fire but when she shoots anyone else they just disappear) and takes time out to pet a deer. Then you got the unlikable characters, 30 year old college students, a lame attempt at a surprise ending and lots, lots more. Avoid at all costs.