Jackson Booth-Millard
I had not seen any trailers for this movie, I just knew that it was taking the mick of recent horror films, like Scary Movie and its sequels before, once I realised which movies were being mocked, I was hoping it would be worthwhile. This film predominantly parodies the "found footage", psychological and supernatural horror and thriller films, specifically the Paranormal Activity series, Sinister, Insidious, The Possession, The Rite, The Devil Inside and The Haunting of Molly Hartley, as well as spoofing or referencing The Blair Witch Project, (Rec), Quarantine, The Haunting in Connecticut, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Last Exorcism, the TV show Hoarders, Pulp Fiction, Monster's Ball, The Exorcist, Snakes on a Plane and Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Basically the film is "found footage", set in August 2012, with young couple Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins) moving in together, Malcolm is recording all events on his new camera. As Kisha arrives, she accidentally runs over and kills Malcolm's dog Shiloh, on the first night, Malcolm is kept awake by Kisha's constant loud farting. The next morning Kisha notices her keys have been moved, she tells Malcolm they may have a ghost, he invites over camera men Dan the Security Man (Final Destination 5's David Koechner) and his brother Bobby (Scary Movie's Dave Sheridan) to prove Kisha wrong. The next night, Malcolm tries to have sex with Kisha on camera, but she tells him to turn it off, before they really start, Malcolm turns the camera back on, in the morning Malcolm watches the footage, they both notice the door moving, Malcolm assumes it was his lovemaking. The next night, Malcolm notices paranormal activity and tries to move out, but he cannot sell the house in the current market. So they hire Chip the Psychic (Razzie nominated Nick Swardson) to investigate, Chip is immediately in love with Malcolm, Chip finds nothing wrong, but before he leaves, Kisha confesses she made a deal with the devil, for a pair of shoes. Chip tells them they are screwed and leaves, Kisha shows Malcolm video footage of her eighth birthday, in which she experienced paranormal activity, with a imaginary friend named Tony. The next night, Kisha appears to awaken and stands by the bed for several hours, and begins to dance, then Malcolm finds her in the kitchen and catches her eating uncooked food and drinking old milk, she screams crazily, but when she wakes from her trance, she does not remember anything. On another night, the couple hear strange noises, but it is the Hispanic housekeeper Rosa (Marlene Forte), who after a misunderstanding quits and leaves, to relieve their pain Malcolm and Kisha smoke marijuana, joined by the ghost. The next day, Malcolm's friend Steve (Andrew Daly) and his girlfriend Jenny (Alanna Ubach) bring a Ouija board to communicate with the ghost, it misspells ghost as "gost", they mock and laugh, the ghost throws the Ouija board, scaring Steve and Jennhy away. That night, Malcolm is dragged out of the room, while still asleep, by the ghost, it then has sex with Kisha, Malcolm finds out the next morning and calls his cousin Ray-Ray (Affion Crockett) to help, but flees immediately seeing the ghost's power. That night, Kisha waits for the ghost to return for sex, until it gets late, after she leaves the ghost rapes Malcolm. The next morning, Malcolm and Kisha anger the ghost by not getting scared, so it attacks Kisha in the evening, Malcolm cannot hear as he is listening to music. The next day, he notices something wrong with Kisha, so he calls Father Williams (Cedric the Entertainer) to perform an exorcism, it does not work, so Dan and Bobby are also called to help, and Chip rushes into the house as well. During the exorcism, Kisha is accidentally shot and killed, she then moves from the living room to the basement, the others follows and corner her, Kisha attacks Malcolm, so the whole group beat her up, apparently forcing the ghost out of her body, reviving her. The next night, Malcolm and Kisha have sex on camera for about three hours, then in the middle of the night Kisha gets up and stands up for a few hours, before walking out. There is a big crash, Malcolm hears her scream and runs out, he is thrown into the camera and knocked out, Kisha enters the room covered in blood, she crawls to Malcolm's body, sniffs him, and farts in his face, she takes on a demonic appearance and lunges at the camera, a minute later Malcolm wakes up telling everyone he survived, before Kisha reappears and he is pulled out the door screaming. Everyone will recognise the Paranormal Activity clichés that have through the series of sequels have become a mockery itself, as usual with parody movies before it relies a bit too much on toilet gags, but it definitely uses the found footage to its advantage to create good visual gags, it is not the most hilarious movie, but it is fairly enjoyable horror comedy spoof. Okay!
zardoz-13
Basically, "A Haunted House" (2013) qualifies as a clever carbon copy parody of the found footage chiller "Paranormal Activity," but told entirely from an African-American perspective. Director Michael Tiddes and leading man Marlon Wayans parlayed this $2.5 million comedy into a box office bonanza. The Open Road release netted approximately $40 million at the box office. The film opens with an eerie prologue: "In October of 2012, the following video footage was found in the home of Malcolm Johnson. The events recorded are still unexplained. In "A Haunted House," Malcolm Johnson (Wayans) and his girlfriend Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) move into a new house to live to together. An evil spirit that cannot have enough sex possesses Kisha and transformed her into a nymphomaniac in voodoo make-up. Predictably, everything spiraled out of control for this cute African-American couple and yielded loads of laughs along the way. Of course, our hero arrayed his residence with surveillance cameras galore to catch the ghosts in the act. He bought his camera from Best Buy and has trouble initially using the camcorder because he has left the lens cap on it. Eventually, he brings in a gay psychic (Nick Swardson of "Grandma's Boy") named Chip to prowl the premises. Mostly, Chip spends the entire 86-minute movie trying to seduce Malcolm. Some of the scenes here are recycled in "A Haunted House 2." For example, when Kisha arrives at their new house with her convertible loaded with her belongings, she runs over Malcolm's dog Shiloh. Desperate to resuscitate his pet canine, Malcolm resorts to car jumper cables and blowing air up his doggie butt before he scrambles off toward the hospitable. Another scene that Tiddes and Wayans recycle occurs when Kisha promises Malcolm that she will slip into something more comfortable, and an amorous protagonist provides us with a sex tutorial. He strips naked and makes love to a dog, a puppy, and a duck. Mind you, all these animals are plush toys, but Wayans knows no bounds for ridiculing himself and this hilarious scene ranks as borderline offensive. Of course, if you cannot tolerate shenanigans like these, then "A Haunted House" is probably not for you.
